Love Garment

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. Colossians 3:16(The Message) Have you ever had the experience where someone is dancing on your last nerve? What did you do about it? Someone got to me this week and I have struggled to know how to respond. In my flesh woman state, I would barge in and let her know what I thought of the situation, probably not with the most loving and gracious tone to my voice. Another option would be to ignore her and hope that she decides to move out of my life. Neither of these are the kind of responses that Christ would expect of me. He wants me to keep the peace and show love to her. Earlier in the third chapter of Colossians He writes, So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Oops! I am thankful that when I pray for wisdom in a difficult situation, God is faithful to give me practical advice. Only with a loving attitude will I be able to listen to her heart to find out what is really going on and get beyond my irritation. I better get that love garment out and give it a good shake!

What?? Forgive!!

“I have thought about killing him, but forgiving him? That was not even on my radar screen,” retorted a friend whose daughter is the recipient of regular physical abuse by her husband. Forgiveness can be complicated. It does not mean we excuse bad behavior or try to justify it. Denial is the easy way out but nothing is gained by our refusal to admit the reality of a bad situation. And, our wound is deepened if we try to pretend that we are not hurt by it. Our Father says that forgiveness is the first step to cleaning out that oozing wound. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT) I have had my share of body blows of hurt, disappointment, and pain that required me to both ask for and offer forgiveness. Yet, I have found that the hardest person to forgive is myself. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 (NLT) I know that I can’t change anyone else – that is God’s job. But I can do something about me! Several months may be necessary while I seek His face and the Spirit softens my hard heart and shows me areas of sin. Then I have a choice – accept the gift of forgiveness offered to me or reject it because of my pride. Don’t be undone if you have to go through this process of introspection more than once. Some offenses take years to build up and an equally long time to set free. But God is faithful in His love and forgiveness and sustains us each step of the way. He promises to bring joy, relief, contentment, and freedom. Trust Him!

Give me happiness, O Lord,
for I give myself to you.
O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive,
so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.
Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord;
hear my urgent cry.
Psalm 86:4-6 (NLT)

Retreat

Retreat, verb (intrans.) withdraw to a quiet or secluded place. I attended the Women’s Retreat sponsored by our church this week. It was truly a place of quiet, beauty, and blessing. The key verse for the week was, And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ Mark 12:30 (NLT) We sang an upbeat song using the verse as lyrics but the real question is how do we do that? Life’s circumstances may cause walls to be built up in our hearts so that we can neither feel God’s love nor return it back to Him. Some hurts strangle our hearts so that it becomes hard and resistance to change. Spadework is then required before the water of Jesus’ love can filter down into the core of the problem and begin to soften that cold heart. That spadework may come in the form of friend, neighbor, or relative who may give some unwanted advice or counsel. Or it might come in a sermon or book. Our initial response is usually anger or fear because who wants to look at or feel the pain resulting from a difficult situation? This is one reason why God’s command includes that not only do we love Him with our heart, but also our soul, mind and strength. It takes all of our being to reconcile the love He holds out to us with the inner battle of self-reliance and complacency. We think we can handle most things. But even the rich young ruler walked away when confronted with the challenge of giving up the security of his wealth to follow Jesus. God is faithful to love us each day whether we return that love or not. He patiently waits for us to come to the end of ourselves and accept that love and forgiveness that He freely offers. So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. Isaiah 30:18 (NLT) It may not be easy but I encourage you to take the risk to open yourself to Him and accept that gift of love. He promises that His love will soften and soothe a hurting heart and give you life.

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.”
Isaiah 43: 1-2

Our Security

I regularly read via email Bread for the Journey by Henry Nouwen. He writes daily pithy devotions that get right to the heart of the matter. One recently stabbed mine. “What is the basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, connections, insurance, and so on. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may tell us otherwise. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, our anxiety often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things.” What is your anxiety trigger? Sleepless nights? Popping Rolaids? Raiding the refrigerator? Shopping? It took me about five seconds to know my weakness. I wish I could say it was something new causing my distress but, unfortunately, it was the same old problem. I realized that I had gone through the motions but not really dropped that burden at the feet of Jesus. I had picked it up again and was struggling under its weight—letting it take away my peace and joy. I am so thankful that God is a God of second chances and gently encourages me to let Him be my security. Again, I dropped off the load and with a lightened heart, thanked Him for His peace and security, knowing that He would take care of me. Not an hour later, my inbox had an email that only He could have arranged to show me He had my back. (Thank you, Lord!) The end of the Meditation encouraged me in my journey to continue to take it step by step: " A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created things, good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love. We probably will never be completely free from our attachment to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free way, we'd better not belong to it. You cannot be the slave both of God and of money" (Luke 16:13)."

And the winner is...

After the Academy Awards, everyone has a opinion on the winners and losers, the best and worst dresses, the laugh lines that were funny – or not, and always the length of the entire program. Some make this annual event into a party for friends while others prefer to watch it alone. I like a good movie. In our home, we make it a point to see the non-scary action movies, comedies, musicals and historical films. If my favorite happens to be up for an award, it usually is a fluke. Hollywood chooses to produce the types of movies that it believes will sell tickets regardless of the values portrayed. Years ago when we had children living at home, we made a decision to not attend R rated movies believing that it was more important to be good models for them. And even to this day, it has to be a very special movie before I am comfortable watching it. The reason? The mind is a wonderful but complex organ that remembers what it sees – sometimes to our detriment. Some people have such vivid imaginations that they cannot escape the images seen on the silver screen. Others appear to not be affected. Yet, whatever your opinion on the awards, I wonder what our Heavenly Father thinks about all of these movies because He gives us instructions about how we should use our mind. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 (ESV) The next time you leave the theater after watching a movie, consider His list. The God who created all the works of art in creation desires that His children think on good things. Be selective.

A Special Poem

Given the task of doing the eulogy at my mother’s recent funeral, this poem struck a deep chord within. I know I want my life to count, to make a difference, to give glory to God.  Take a few moments and ponder these words by Linda Ellis.

Kind Words

I just opened my email to find a note from the neighborhood scribe that one of my neighbors collapsed in his yard yesterday and died. We have been here for just a few months so that I do not know this man yet shock is reverberating over the internet and among the homes. It reminded me, again, that each day is a gift of life and must not be taken for granted. The younger we are, the more likely we are to take risks and not be careful about our choices. The only problem with that is the consequences of our actions usually catch up with us as we age. I remember many summer days sitting on the sand at Huntington Beach with baby oil slathered all over my body -- for hours! Yes, I did get a sunburn but now I have to schedule regular checkups to remove the skin cancers that continue to pop up. Actions and consequences are inevitable and one of our greatest responsibilities as parents is teach this concept to our children. Having just spent time with three little sisters that each expresses her mind with great gusto, consider this proverb: A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) Rather than having a verbal free for all, lowering our voice and speaking softly allows a much better opportunity to actually resolve the conflict. Teaching the girls to be kind and speak nicely is a daily task. The same goes for adults. Our technological age allows us to bypass some of the common courtesies of conversation, probably to our detriment as a society. So make a note to yourself: gentle words will be a balm for a broken heart, a frightened child, a worried mother, a frantic friend, a stressed husband or a grieving neighbor. Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Proverbs 16:24 (NLT)

Way Perfect!

We have just made a swing through California to check on Dad and see the newly transplanted kids in the Bay Area. (I remembered why I am never moving again.) My son-in-law had been traveling all week and returned late Friday night. Early the next morning, my two-year-old granddaughter was in snuggling with her parents when she suddenly sat upright and announced to her dad, “I way perfect for Mommy.” You see Dad had encouraged the three girls before he left to listen to and obey Mom while he was gone. Allie was just reporting in with her assessment of her week. Dad and Mom both laughed with our precocious little girl knowing full well that the week had not gone quite as “perfect” as she wanted to portray. Later at breakfast we all joined in a chuckle over the story. But inwardly I cringed because I know how an attitude of perfection can be a real stumbling block in life…I have suffered from it for years. Now as the Nana to these three sweet girls, I want to encourage them to skip the trap of a prideful spirit and the disillusionment that often results from the failure to meet unrealistic expectations. Depending on the individual and personality, perfection can lead to giving up and not even trying. Or, it may result in stomachaches, sweaty palms, and tears. And the worst part is the constant need to perform well for acceptance and love. It has taken me many years and along several paths before I truly understood AND believed that I am loved and accepted by God just because. And I can do nothing to change that. He loves me whether I get it right or fail. And to top it all off, anything good that comes from me is only a reflection of His life in me. My prayer is to leave a legacy of love and acceptance for these precious girls so that they know that “being way perfect” is not necessary. I love them just they way they are. And God does, too! We love each other because he loved us first. I John 4:19 (NLT)

Go Play

Recently, I had a phone conversation with my daughter and she mentioned that my two-year-old granddaughter is driving her nuts. She described the ability of this tiny headstrong girl to throw a fit accompanied with all the wailing, crying, and commotion that she can muster–just to get her point across. But, the crazy part occurs when in the middle of all this noise and confusion, she will stop, turn to her mother, and say through her tears, “I all done cwying now. I wuv you very much Mommy,” and off she trots to play. What do you do with that little imp? As I thought about her response, it crossed my mind that we often fret, complain, cry, or whine to our Heavenly Father about something we think we need or an incident that has occurred -- wanting it done our way and NOW. However, His response is “Stop crying, my beloved daughter. I love you very much and let me take care of it.” I pray that as we grow and mature in our walk with the Lord, we will no longer feel the need to throw one of those fits, but rather turn the problem over to Him and trust Him with the solution. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) Now, go play!

Dilemma

Years ago I participated in a parent committee formed by the local School Board to review the curriculum's of sex, drugs, and AIDS education for grades K to 12. What a challenge! I have tackled many “impossible” tasks in my life assuming that with enough time, energy, money, and determination, I could change the situation. However, I discovered while serving on that committee that regardless of how motivated I might be to make a difference – sometimes it just does not happen. Last night I could not sleep. I kept mulling over the options for my dad’s living situation, which is far from being resolved. Frustrated, I got up, slipped into my office and opened my email. In it was a devotional message by Os Hillman in which he directly responded to this kind of dilemma. “There are times when pushing harder, trying to manipulate the circumstance, or pressing those around you is not the response to have to the roadblock. God may be trying to have you reconsider your ways. God may be doing one of four things when you are faced with an obstacle: 1) He's blocking it to protect you. 2) His timing to complete this stage is not the same as yours, and He may need you to go through a process of character refinement. 3) He may want other players to get in place, and the circumstances are not yet ready for them to enter. 4) He may be using the process to develop patience in you. Relying on the Holy Spirit to know which one applies to your situation is the key to moving in God's timing.” I know that God has His hand on Dad and will show us the best place for him to be. We are headed out next week to check on things. As I fell asleep, I thanked God for reminding me to be patient – the path will be made clear.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8 (NLT)


But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ. 1 John 2:27 (NLT)